Mind and body

I recently wrote a status on Facebook proclaiming that Yoga had changed my life. Which I agree sounds kind of dramatic. My former self of a year ago would have read a statement like that and been naturally dubious. Really? It changed your life? Huh, right, okay…. And yet it’s true.

Perhaps I should have elaborated a little more on how it changed my life, after all I still live in the same house, in the same town, I am still married with two children and I still do the same job. And yet I am totally transformed. With today being International Yoga Day, I thought it was perfect timing to go into a little more detail on the profound effect yoga has had, and is still having on me.

Firstly I’ll let you in on a secret. I am not a very sporty person. I have been known to hang out a bit at the gym in an attempt to try and keep fit but it’s always begrudgingly and I can never seem to sustain it longer than a few months. I have been known to feel a bit self conscious in the gym. I never really felt comfortable sweating and turning a deep shade of tomato in front of strangers.

Day 1 of Kundalini yoga and my first lesson was ‘We leave our ego’s outside of the yoga studio’. Refreshing! And yet I thought, easier said than done. I definitely stepped into the class with a first rate ego, always conscious of what others may think of me, eager not to embarrass myself, look composed and keep up with the class.

By the end of the lesson I had more of an understanding of what my lovely teacher Corrine meant. Even though I may have felt a little self conscious doing some of the more ‘ out there ‘ breathing techniques and yoga moves, within a few weeks that awkwardness had completely disappeared. I was there for myself, this was entirely my journey and I was in the zone! As far as I am aware there is only me and Corrine in the room while I am doing my class, it helps that the majority of the class is done with our eyes closed too.

So how did I come along the path of Kundalini yoga? Totally by accident, or perhaps totally meant to be, who knows? It was Christmas 2018 and I was reading a book called ‘How to be your bad ass self’ by Jen Sincero. It was good read and got me thinking about my life and where I was at this point which to be honest wasn’t quite where I wanted to be.

You see I’d been struggling to manage my stress levels and moods for quite a few years. I found the slightest thing triggered me whether it was the children misbehaving or something not going my way at work. I put it down to having a young family, running my own business, planning a wedding and renovating a house, all at the same time. I sure had a lot on my plate so it was no wonder I felt crappy. Deep down I knew I was still ‘me’, the me I liked, the joyful, creative, kind person but I felt like I was drowning in this heavy overcoat I didn’t want to be wearing. Only I couldn’t take it off. It was a constant struggle between the person I wanted to be and this person who was just not really okay. Kind of trying to be ok, maintaining I was okay to the outside world (I think?) but really not being okay on the inside. Sad, angry, confused by everything and nothing I could quite put my finger on. I mean I had a great life but I still didn’t feel great. Why didn’t I feel great?

On a whim, I googled yoga classes in my area and came across Corrine’s class. I attended not knowing a thing about Kundalini yoga or what was in store for me! Wow, I was in for a surprise. Reaching out for some kind of spirituality and finding everything I needed and more, so much more.

What is Kundalini yoga?

Perhaps I need to back up and give you a brief introduction into Kundalini yoga as like me 6 months ago you probably hadn’t heard of it. Kundalini is both a physical and spiritual yogic practice that works on awakening the kundalini energy through movement, breathing techniques, mantra and meditation. It’s goal is to build physical vitality and consciousness within the individual so they can realise their life purpose. It’s an ancient form of yoga and it’s believed to go back as far as 1000BC.

Kundalini yoga is healing to me. Through movement, meditation and deep relaxation, gong healing / sound therapy I heal each one of my chakras. Each lesson we tackle a different area to work on. We strengthen our neutral mind and learn to quieten our negative minds. I read somewhere that 90% of people live in their negative minds, wow! A yogi is neutral which means they are not controlled by their minds. We open our hearts to love and most importantly love ourselves so we are so full of love that we are complete. Being loved by others is only a bonus!

So how has yoga changed me?

In the past 7 months, I’ve changed a lot. To an outsider maybe nothing has changed. I am still the same person, in the same house, job and personal situation. But inside I’ve changed. Each week, each month that passes brings new changes and is still bringing transformation. Some are subtle and continually evolving, some are more obvious to me.

I’ve changed mentally

It took me about 2-3 weeks of attending classes with Corrine for my moods to change. Everything felt lighter. I shifted from the negative mind into the neutral. I seem to be able to deal with stress and I don’t sweat the small stuff. Ragey people in cars no longer make my blood boil inside of me, I’m pretty much indifferent. Work stresses no longer make me feel tight in my chest and like I can’t breathe. Instead I just knuckle down and deal with the situation to the best of my ability, it’s all I can do after all!

I shout less at the kids. It used to be much more frequent than I’d have liked but these days we can have whole days, heck even whole weeks, dare I say whole months with me not raising my voice in anger. I mean the little monkeys really know how to test me but I have a deep well of patience and good humour I just didn’t have before.

I’m much less afraid. Afraid of what bad things could happen, afraid of what someone might think, afraid of not being liked, afraid of speaking my truth. I trust in the universe.

I’m way more joyful. I SING and DANCE again! I never realised that I’d stopped singing (how sad is that, it really shocked me when I realised that) but I had… I’d stopped singing along to the music. Here’s another secret I actually sometimes want to dance across a carpark because I feel so joyful! I haven’t actually gone for it yet but who knows you may spot me one day, haha!

I’m wanting to spend more and more time out in nature. I was always a nature lover but everything is more beautiful than it ever was before. Every tree, hill, sky, plant is magnified in it’s breathtaking beauty these days!

It’s changed my health

I have no physical pains at all. I’ve never been one to suffer with any chronic pains or anything but I did often hold stress in my neck and shoulders which I no longer do. In fact I haven’t been ill at all, not even a cold in nearly 7 months. Which I think is pretty good going.

Physically I am able to push my body to do more in yoga class and not give in to my negative mind trying to tell me I cannot do it. Some of the Kriyas can really test this and I find an amazing strength and energy from inside me which I find incredibly empowering.

And then there are little things. Like the fact that I have bitten my finger nails since about the age of 7 when I lost my baby brother and never quite recovered from that anxious feeling as a child that someone I loved was going to die. I’ve never been able to stop despite trying many, many times. Even when I wasn’t biting them it seemed my nails still didn’t want to grow. 30 years later and 3 months into my yoga journey and my nails started to grow beautifully as if by magic!

I’ve also spent the best part of 15 years battling with my diet and the way I look. I’ve slowly put on more weight over the years, much to my dismay, as I thought I was a healthy eater. I’m pleased to say I’ve even managed to improve on that, choosing to eat mainly fresh fruits and vegetables and cutting right down on the sugar and processed carbs. A few months of yoga saw me change to being a vegetarian, it felt a totally natural lifestyle change to make aligned with my yoga practice.

What’s even better is I’ve thrown away my weighing scales because they are absolutely NO good for me!

So there you go, that’s just a few ways yoga has changed me but I’m not finished yet! My heightened intuition, my new, more neutral mind are just the start for me, the foundation for me to take the next step.

I’m still working on myself, still healing and learning, uncovering my journey. I’m excited to see where I go from here.

Thank you to my wonderful teacher Corrine for teaching us with so much love and devotion. Corrine teaches yoga in the Nottingham / Newark area, you can find more about her lessons here.

Sat Nam

3ofus I don’t know if you’ve noticed but things have been a little quiet on here of late. I’ve been taking some much needed time for myself and my family.

Don’t worry we are all well and happy but it took me stepping back from the blog and a few other commitments to achieve some balance and peace in our lives.

You see adjusting to being a mum of two was much harder than I EVER imagined. I mean before the arrival of Babylish I definitely had the mum thing down. Littlelish and I were a well oiled team, we knew all the rules and each others boundaries and things worked.

Then the most beautiful little bundle of curls and cheeky smiles arrived to shake up the scene and boy does she have the personality to cause some havoc. Full of energy, feistiness and mischief by the bucket load. Adorable, totally flipping adorable but pretty hard work.

I spent months trying and failing to juggle my life and the roles I had created for myself. ‘The creative blogger’, ‘the devoted stay at home mum’, ‘the perfect wife’, ‘the renovating interior lover’, ‘the desperate (to have a clean) housewife’, ‘the interesting/sociable/smart/caring human’. It was ALL too much to bear. I was spread too thin and I couldn’t be any of these things.

Many days I felt like I was losing my mind. I so wanted to be me, the fun spontaneous, interesting me but I was tired, stressed and on edge. I felt like a failure in every one of my roles and it was making me totally miserable. Looking back I wasn’t failing at all but had put so much pressure on myself. After all I had a young baby, I was renovating a period property and planning a wedding. That’s like 3 major life milestones all at once. I hadn’t made things easy for myself had I?

The tipping point for me was the day  Littlelish found a little white feather.

I told her an angel had blessed her with a wish. She closed her eyes and wished, thinking long and hard, making sure she made the right choice.

She asked me if I wanted to know her wish, she often does this, as if the excitement of the wish is too much to keep to herself. Playfully I guessed she had wished for another pet dog, it’s her default wish. But that day she told me she had wished for something different. She wished her mummy wasn’t stressed and that she and her sister could be good girls so mummy could feel happy. My heart ached.

So for the sake of my sanity and those around me I decided to go into what I call survival mode, focusing only on my primary priorities. I selfishly became, just mum, and took off some of those heavy labels that were dragging me down.

These days I am not stressed. You will find me playing with the girls and tending to what I can in the house. I make good food and I make the time to go to the gym for some me time. I visit friends with small children, I play in the garden, I do the school run. It’s a very simple existence but it’s what I needed. I know I am blessed to be in the position to be able to do this and for this I am truly grateful.

All the things I used to take great pleasure in doing, blogging, reading, writing, drawing have had to take a back seat. I’m simply ‘being’ these days and it is doing us all good.

I’ve also deliberately taken a step back from social media, it helps me to drown out the noise of ambition, pressure, competition and expectation.

I’m keeping sane, peaceful and most importanly I’m smiling every day. It took a while to figure out but I’m there and embracing it.

There is plenty of time to be the business woman I want to become, for self discovery, growth and ambition. Conquering the world will have to wait.

I’ve learnt there is nothing wrong with just being mum. After all I’m the world to them.




yoga-freeWorking in an office takes it’s toll on our bodies. According to a recent article in The Telegraph office workers need to do an hour of exercise each day in order to avoid early death! I’m pretty confident in saying that most of the population struggles to fit in an hour of exercise on top of their busy workday and busy lives.

How about attempting a daily workout in the office? All you need is some cheap office chairs, a standard desk, a break time and some office yoga moves! The team at Furniture at work have collaborated with health and yoga experts to create an office yoga workout programme and it’s fab. The brilliant thing about yoga is you can do it anywhere, on a beach, at your home, in your garden, even in the office.

Although I don’t work in an office I do sit down for prolonged amounts of time when writing at my laptop. It’s normally in a rather awkward position which sees me twisting my torso and sitting with my legs furled up and I know it cannot be good for me. So I’ve recently started to incorporate some changes including a daily workout. You can find me at the gym for an hour every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. On my days off I want to make sure I walk or do some yoga stretching at home too. I’ve noticed the exercise really helps make me feel more energised and strong in both body and mind. I find swimming particularly theraputic, the water calms and soothes me and I can mull over my thoughts while I swim.


Image: Unknown – Pinterest

The other change I’m making is to do with my working space. I’m actually getting my office decorated! It’s been replastered, the floor has been sanded and we’ve painted it a lovely fresh yet soothing light green called Montacute Sage from Hemsley by Homebase. I’m hoping to create a bright workspace which is inspiring and calming. With shades of green and white and some sharper graphic black lines, I’m again going to add the soothing quality of water and nature with prints and plants. I literally can’t wait to work at a desk with a good quality office chair – it’s the little things!

As part of my office I’ve also decided I am going to create a little yoga / meditation spot so I have somewhere to escape the chaos of the rest of the house!


This post is written in collaboration with Furniture at work.







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