I hear a murmur from next door, a soft, needy little cry. I go into her room and she is stirring, thrashing a little, obviously half dreaming, half awake. I sneak in to her warm bed and she blinks and opens her deep brown eyes, “mummy” she says in a warm, dozy, loving voice. I stroke her blonde hair which still radiates in the darkness and admire her soft skin and perfect puffy cheeks. She lets out a contented sign, rolls over and begins to breathe rhythmically and I know she has fallen backĀ  to sleep.

It is the first time she has seen me since I plucked her sleeping from her bed on Monday at 6:45am. We are both embracing a huge change in our lives as I have returned back to full time employment for the first time in 4 years. It is my second week on the job and I have been down in London all week at an International trade show, I’ve been leaving the house bleary eyed at 7am and returning exhausted and hungry at 9pm. Littlelish has been with her Daddy and it is the longest I have gone without seeing her…. ever.

With the change in our family circumstances, I now need to provide for myself and Littlelish hence the decision to return to work. I’m pleased to report it is going really well. Rather than being run down with the lack of sleep (as I had imagined I would be) I am energized and excited to be back in the business world. It feels good although I regularly ache for a cuddle and some funny, imaginary story from my Littlelish.

I am determined not to let memories of leisurely mornings spent watching cbeebies and munching cereal fade. I’ve secured them firmly in my heart along with afternoons spent baking cupcakes/biking through the park/drawing at the kitchen table together.

I’m going to miss being a stay at home mum, it was a wonderful period of my life (if not the best – and as I add the picture to this post my eyes fill up with happy tears) and I am so very grateful for it.