2012-10-05_13494527532012-10-11_13499630982012-10-09_13497653962012-10-14_1350212348

Last year October was FrOctober for me. A whole month of wearing dresses and raising money for PND support. I never suffered from PND but I know of plenty of mums who did. What I do know is that the change of becoming a mum can wreak havoc on your self-confidence.

Going from only having to look after yourself, making sure you get into work on time looking presentable… to the job of being responsible for the life of a teeny tiny baby, making sure they are fed, changed, clean and content was life changing. I took my new role very seriously and consequently I took a back seat. My old body and the things I did to take care of myself before, become exactly that, a thing of the past, something I really no longer had or made time for.

As a stay at home mum I especially felt little need to put make up on or wear nice clothes, it was just me and Littlelish hanging out, whatever. But as I was less and less bothered about my appearance (combined with relationship problems) my self-confidence began to slip. There were more important things in life now I was a mum, I needed to spend my time doing important mum things not preening and pampering myself, didn’t i?

The answer is yes and no. Yes I needed to do important mum things but I really needed to make time for myself as well. Sure looking good on the outside may be superficial but the truth of it is it makes us all feel better about ourselves on the inside. We feel proud and happier.

So back to FrOctober 2012. That was really the wake up call for me. I wore a dress or skirt every day. I enjoyed dressing up, putting make up on (because you can’t really wear a dress without makeup, can you?) and feeling good about myself. I hadn’t felt like that for a while, it cheered me up and boosted my confidence.

Not only that but I found a new inner strength to address what wasn’t right about my life and more importantly my relationship. I needed to be happy for my little girl, I was a good mum but I wanted to be a better, happier woman.

I ended my relationship back in November. Early in 2014 I met someone special who I have spent this year getting to know. I feel good about myself again. I take better care of myself, I want to try to look nice more often. I wear better clothes, not necessarily new ones but I take more pride in the outfit I put together. There are more days I wear makeup, it isn’t every day but I want to make the effort more. I am happier.

Recently I have started going to the gym, it is the start of the second week, but I am more motivated than I have ever been to get fit and tone up. These days I am a size 14 and while I am content with myself the thought of being fitter and thinner only spurs me on. I have been going every day and have put together a plan with the gym instructor to work hard and efficiently. I am excited for the day that I can fit into a size 12 dress, I haven’t been a size 12 for a very long time. When I do I will gather up all my size 14 clothes, sell them and buy a whole new wardrobe of lovely dresses that make me feel amazing :)